There is something generally mortifying about that moment when your kid opens a gift from a relative, only to have them say, “I already have this!” or worse, NOTHING. They just open it, give zero reaction, and then move on to their next gift.

I’ve been mortified a time or two when my daughter just gives zero f**ks about the gifts she’s getting. She looks like a brat. I look like a bad mom. And we are getting judged. Looking back, my daughter was three or four at the time and obviously not even mature enough to understand gifting etiquette (though you try telling my mother-in-law that!).

When she’s older, I plan to prep her for these types of occasions, and one mom on TikTok has a great strategy for that.

“I will constantly drill the three G’s: Gratitude, graciousness, and generosity,” popular content creator and mom, Momma Cusses, said on Betches’ Childproof podcast.

“Whether it is the birthday kid, or we are going as a guest. Gratitude is our first stop. We’re going to say ‘thank you’ every time. We’re going to be gracious about it and we’re going to say, ‘thank you’ for the best parts we can think of.”

So basically, even if she kids aren’t thrilled about the gift, they still need to point out something positive.

“If we love this gift: ‘Thank you so much for this awesome gift. I have wanted something like this.’ If it’s a less-than-awesome gift: ‘Thank you,’” she explained. “There’s your first G … for giving me this gift. There’s your graciousness.”

“The generosity comes in. You gave it to me. That was enough.”

“What I tell my kids to do is, before we even go to a party, if someone thought of you and cared that it’s your birthday. If you don’t like what they got you, that’s okay. Not telling them is not a lie. Thanking them does not mean that you are thanking them because the gift is awesome. It means you are thanking them for the act of their generosity,” podcast host, Tori Phantom chimed in.

“If you get a gift that you hate, we can unpack that in private together. But if you were to announce that, you are going to hurt your friend’s feelings. We are going to be gracious about the thoughtful gesture. and we are not going to be greedy or particular because it’s really not about the gift you got to have a fun time with your friend.”

Also, if you want to avoid this torment altogether, don’t open gifts at the party! I have seen this trend a lot lately with birthday parties and truly, it’s a game-changer. It saves time during the party, takes the pressure off kids, and no one has to stand there, bored to tears, for hours! Win-win-win!